More than two years ago, I was applying to work abroad. It is fascinating I’m doing the exact thing now. Many know the challenge of finding a work abroad. Especially, for the first timers. This is my second time, but it was almost the same feeling. The same frustration and anxiety if I could pull it off again — find another work abroad. Hopefully, with higher pay.
This is the blog post I don’t want my potential employers to read. I’ll tell it to you anyway. For more than two years straight working in Saudi Arabia, I still don’t feel I’m confident enough. I’ve done things I have no idea I could do. I made a lot of arguments to defend myself. And yet, I felt those were not enough. I felt I’m still an undergraduate in B.S. Working Abroad.
Good thing I learned through life to do things afraid. To not rely too much on my confident feelings. And walk inside the unknown tunnel trusting there’s a light of hope at the end.
When I Always Rely on a Miracle
The day I got accepted to a university is a miracle. I only took one entrance exam and bet my life on it.
The day I graduated from college is a miracle. I got a lot of incomplete subjects I completed in the nick of time. I also got a lot of exact passing grades. I’m distracted, lazy, dead shy, always late to class, and addicted to online games. I’m one of the most obscure and mediocre students in my university.
The day I passed my national board exam is a miracle. As an electrical engineering graduate, my next step is to pass the board exam. After months of reviewing, I expect not to pass the exam. I’m not even finished reading half of the review materials.
The day I got accepted for my first company is a miracle. Same as my college miracle, I also applied only in one company and bet my life on it. I also bet you have now the idea of how lazy I am.
Fast forward, the day I get a job abroad is a miracle. It just happens my neighbor owns a job agency. I don’t need the effort to apply online and make walk-ins in different agencies. No wonder I’m having a hard time now applying for work abroad.
In my subconscious mind, I’m telling myself miracle always happen. I rely on faith. Or, I can say I make a bad use of my faith. God grant me a lot of miracles in my life. Those I mentioned were a few on my list.
From the past few days, I’m a slacker. I got distracted and sleep more than I need to. I didn’t apply for work abroad. I relied on miracles – the supernatural one. I forgot the more important miracle of perseverance and discipline.
The Beauty of Not Asking Permission
To find work both local and abroad, you need the permission of the company. Many people want to climb the corporate ladder. The higher you ranked the more authority you get. It also means you have the permission to make the critical decisions for the company.
If you’re like me, you grew up in traditional schools and companies. We always follow instructions. We need permissions. I’m not telling you to leave your company. I’m still a sheep following orders. In fact, if you had notice, I’m still planning to work abroad. I’m sure I would need to follow orders from the company. I’m still a sheep. But, I know each one of us is a lion raised as a sheep. I’m searching for my Lionheart. I bet writing will help me. I hope you find something for yourself.
Law and order make the world a better place. It is sad when we rely on them too much. The same as when we are relying on the supernatural miracle.
One of the reasons I continue to write in a blog is to exploit the opportunity to do something without permission. To make art. Now, I sound Seth Godin. I’m not him, never will. He just deeply influenced me.
Personal freedom is when we are able to do things on our own. Do things because we love to and not we have to. It is a beauty to do things without permission. And make the world a little bit better.
If I would listen to my daily opposing voice, I doubt if this blog is an art. Much more make a difference in the world. I watched a video interview about millennials (yes, I’m one of them). Simon Sinek, the interviewee said we are self-interested, narcissistic, unfocused, lazy and entitled. We are also impatience and addicted to instant gratification.
It is a great wake-up call for us. We want to make a difference in the world not knowing we should start first with ourselves. Find the balance between our digital and real lives.
We don’t need permission to make a difference in ourselves. It is an internal battle. It would either make or break us. We would always experience setbacks, but there’s always a chance to stand-up again.
Why Should You Give Yourself Permission to Not Know Things?
If there’s a beauty in not taking permission, so there is in not knowing. I don’t know how to blog that could attract readers. Last week, I read a blog post entitled “20 Ways to Be Just Another Mediocre Blogger Nobody Gives a Crap About”. I felt I was slapped on my face. My fragile ego was crushed.
Seconds later, I realized I’m okay with it – be another mediocre blogger. Not because I accepted my lot in life. I know I’m a mediocre blogger, because of the things I didn’t know. Also because of the things I’m not willing to do.
I still need to work abroad and enjoy the title “Electrical Engineer.” Some people could say I should pursue my dreams of earning a living with writing. I’ve done a lot of things afraid. I make some courageous acts. When it comes to earning with writing and live my dreams, I don’t have that courage yet.
Some write about their expertise and knowing a lot about some things. I could only brag about how little I know about writing and life in general. Don’t get me wrong, I will still pursue writing. Hoping, I can make art. Hoping, I can make a difference no matter how small it is.
I also realized writing is more of a habit than an art. It’s a regular thing done daily.
We see ignorance as some kind of weakness. Instead of feeling guilty, we should see it as an acknowledgment. All of us start as a beginner. In reality, giving yourself permission to not know is taking an opportunity for growth.
At the end of the article about mediocre blogger, it says…
“If you’re guilty of some of these mistakes, it just means you’re still in the beginning stages of the journey. Take your licks, do your best to learn from them, and never, ever lose faith in yourself.”
So if you’re like me, we are just in the beginning stage. Learn from our mistakes. Continue on asking questions. Stay curious. Someday, answers will come.
Believe in supernatural miracles. But, believe more in your ability to make miracles from your God-given power.
For now, keep on doing things without asking permission. And remember, you don’t need to know a lot. You don’t have to feel guilty.
You just need to start at something.